For Those Nursing Mothers Considering Weaning Your Babies ~ From me to You

Everyone in your home is sleeping peacefully, including your baby. You stir, knowing that the start of the day is fast approaching. In the midst of the quiet sounds of the morning, you hear the one that warms your heart the most. It's your baby. Moving, sniffing, grunting, turning from side to side and fussing a bit. He's awake and looking for you.

You resolve yourself to another busy day and make your way to your baby. Your breasts feel full and heavy and you look forward to the relief your baby will bring. Picking him up or moving him toward you, you bear your breast, and once again, find yourself amazed at his strong instinctive need as he stretches his tiny neck, reaching for you. You assist him in finding what he needs and he begins to feed. You feel the warm sensation of your milk releasing to him, and hear him hungrily swallowing. His body is relaxed, his eyes are closed . You snuggle in with him, feeling his warm body next to yours, and for a few moments you believe you and your baby are the only two people in the world.

This is something I have experienced with all my children. And each time was just as special as the first. With my first two babies, the mornings alone with them eventually turned into busy days at work. With my new little boy, I am experiencing the luxury of my busy day within the comfort of my home. Both demanding, requiring endurance, organization and travel. Working inside or outside of the home; the key word is work.

My oldest son is now ten years old. My daughter if five. As I have told you my new baby boy is 4 months old now. I know for a fact that the early years go by so fast. The speed of light ain't got nothin' on the rate at which a child grows. I know that life gets busy, and there are many things we all must do each day. But please hear me... Cherish each and every moment, don't force your babies to grow up to fast. If you are nursing and you are considering weaning your baby, let me address a few obstacles you may be facing and see if I can change your mind.

I want to have another baby:

Well, so do I. But you know what? I just had one. And if you're baby is less then one year old, so did you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having your children close together, and if you are currently pregnant and you have a one year old or less to care for as well, this article is not written to criticize you in any way. Every baby is a blessing and they all come in their own time. But I would encourage you to eat your Wheaties.

Having said that, for the rest of you who are not yet pregnant and want to wean your current nursling because you are considering becoming pregnant, read on. It has been proven over and over again that breastmilk provides unmatched nutrition for the first year of life. The nursing relationship provides so many benefits, from good oral development, to good self esteem derived from the close relationship between mother and baby, all the way to a reduced risk of obesity later in life the longer the baby nurses. Your little one is still a baby. Enjoy him as much as you can, and think about the other darling when your first darling reaches one year of age. That way, you can nurse him for a year, get pregnant again and not feel to bad when your mature milk supply transitions to colostrum and your baby looks at you like you've lost your mind and wanders what happened to his food, and you're body will be much stronger and ready for the rigors of another pregnancy and delivery after having a full year to regenerate.

I have to work full time, and I am tired of pumping during my work day:

Now here goes nothing. Get ready to be shocked. My first two children weaned from the breast at nine months of age. That's right, me, the author of the soap box diaries, did not breastfeed her first two children for the entire first year. I intended to, I wanted to, but I did not. I had my reasons. The biggest was I had to work outside of the home. My children both decided at about six months, that the bottle was cooler because it was mobile. They could take it with them around the room while they just couldn't' get Mommy's boobies to come with them; and believe me they both tried. Over the course of about three months (between 6 and 9 months of age) they gradually weaned to the bottle.

My first two children went between bottle ad breast no problem. I had to work and sometimes my days were long. I pumped religiously, and it was worth it. But at the time, I took my babies love for the bottle as a sign they didn't need me anymore. So I stopped nursing. Looking back I wish I had continued nursing them in the mornings, evenings and on weekends. I'm not so sure now, being older and wiser if they truly were completely done with the breast, or if I just felt rejected and decided to stop altogether. (mommy guilt you know) Anyhow, if I had it to do over again, I would have continued to at least offer my breast until they were both one year old.

My little 4 month old will probably nurse until he starts college. (kidding) He just loves it and won't take a bottle at all. This time around, I don't have to work full time outside of the home so he isn't given enough bottle time to not want to nurse in favor of the bottle. He won't take it anyways, and there is no reason to force the issue.

If you are working full time and are tired of pumping, keep these things in mind. I don't know how old your baby is so I am going to cover the bases here, so bare with me.

0-3 months - If you are a mommy who has to return to work during the first three months, I know how hard this will be for you and every effort you make to breastfed your baby is admirable. Returning before your baby is three months of age is heart wrenching at times, and your body is not quite ready either so your level of exhaustion will be intensified.

If you are a mommy who is choosing to return to work before three months, please reconsider. The first three months are precious, and so critical in establishing a good milk supply, and you will never get this time with your little miracle back. It is a one time gift, that passes in what seems like the blink of an eye.

OK, pumping at work during the three months - it is critical that you pump every 3 hours and that you attempt to empty each breast. You can do this in as little 20 minutes, or if you are like me, it may take up to 45 minutes and then you still won't be sure your breasts are empty. (I was and still am a lousy pumper) I know this sounds like a big commitment, but I can't think of anything more worthwhile. Here are some tips for you...

Do not try to work while pumping. Leave your stacks of reports, emails, new hire applications, research material, or whatever you have, behind. Trying to work while pumping will keep you in the wrong frame of mind. It will take longer for your milk to let down, longer to empty your breasts, and raise your frustration level.

Do bring a picture of your baby, make a point to take several deep cleansing breaths(this really does work), put your feet up if possible, close your eyes and think about your baby. Imagine the way he feels, the way he smells, the sounds that he makes when he is hungry. Whenever you feel the need, look at the photo of your baby. *Have someone take a picture of you feeding your baby with his little face and your breast making up a majority of the photograph. This is a real mood booster for pumping*

If you have a busy, on your feet job that will not allow for two extended break periods, my suggestions are...

Take them anyways. Be firm with your co-workers and your supervisors that you will be combining your breaks periods (typically by law you are entitled to a 30 minute lunch period and 2 - 15 minute breaks during an eight hour work day. This totals the magic number of 60 minutes) and splitting them into two equal break every three hours. Provide information from the Internet if necessary supporting your argument that you are doing what is best for your baby. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty. If any of your co-workers have a problem with your decisions, oh well. There will come a time that they themselves, will need understanding, time away or something of that nature, and the very folks that roll their eyes and gossip behind your back, will most likely be the same people who don't blink an eye taking care of their own needs when the situation presents itself.

Every place of employment has the martyr who raised 12 children, worked full time, was never late to work or took a sick day. I am sure you know someone like this. But just wait until she wakes up one morning and her bunions hurt. Oh yaah, you won't be seein' the whites of her eyes for three days and when you do, it will be with a doctor's note documenting her medical emergency. (By the way, all these individuals suffer from the same incurable disease called "sofullofsh*t")

I am speaking to you from my heart, based on my own personal work experience. So if I sounded harsh - GOOD! My writing is accurately conveying my feelings on this particular subject.

If you are still convinced that you just cannot take two pumping breaks during your break, then take one. Pump as much as you can, and nurse as much as you can when you are with your baby. There is such a thing called reverse cycle nursing, and your baby may be one that takes on this behavior. If not, and your milk supply isn't quite up to snuff because of the limited pumping time during your work day, supplement if you need to without guilt. Any breastmilk your baby is getting is pure gold. And any time spent nursing is priceless. But whatever you do, don't give up!

To be Continued...

Last But Not Least- I Tried It Before And ...

I have heard this statement so many times. It seems that the women who have the most reasons for not breastfeeding are the ones who have tried it once, and did not succeed. Here are the statements I have heard most often.

I tried it before and - My baby just couldn't do it.

As my motto goes, Babies are Born to Breastfeed. A healthy full term infant can and will breastfeed. However, breastfeeding is a skill that you, the mommy person, must coach and assist your baby to do properly. Most babies need very little of either, because their natural instincts guide them to your breast the moment they are born. But still, a new mommy, unsure of herself and her ability to breastfeed will be of little help to a crying, frustrated infant. This is why it is so important that you, the owner of the Super Boobs, must educate yourself prior to delivery and surround yourself with supportive, experienced breastfeeding mothers and/or lactation consultants. Please take the time to visit the La Leache League website for links to local consultants, meetings and endless advice and resources. There are also some wonderful books available for you to read while waiting for your baby. My favorite is the The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding: Seventh Revised Edition (La Leche League International Book).

Babies are built to breastfeed, from their flat little chins, to their adorable turned up noses, to their strong rooting reflex that can be seen just moments after birth. Be confident that your baby will breastfeed. He was not constructed for a bottle, he was built for your breasts.

I tried it before and - My nipples were to flat/inverted

Proof that God has a very good sense of humor are a woman's breasts. Let's face it girls, the only way to get two perfectly round, symmetrical boobies with fully erect nipples, that we have all seen in the movies (for about 15 seconds on the star's body double) is to pay for them. And believe you me, that $5000 dollar bra filler is sounding better every day. However, I have quite an attachment to my girls as they have serviced my children well. So I am unsure if I will ever alter them by surgical means.

The reality is, most women have something about their breasts they don't like. To low, to high(what the *&#???), to big, to small. To floppy, to lop sided, and yes, nipples that seem to flat or nipples that appear to be insecure and hiding from the world (aka inverted).

When I was expecting my first child, I was absolutely determined to breastfeed him. However, I mistakenly believed that I had to have something resembling a large pencil eraser popping out of each breast to be successful. So... I started reading and asking everyone I could about what to do about flat nipples. The solution I discovered were plastic cones for my bra. A wonderful little device that created a vacuum situation inside my bolder holder to gently draw out my nipples and ready them for my baby. Not only did they work, but I had great fun with my Madonna impression for about six weeks. Yes, you to ladies, can enjoy the amazing Hoover experience inside your bra by clicking this link: SUCK 'EM OUT. As you will see, the cones/shields are relatively inexpensive, and now come in a much more natural shape. Sorry to disappoint if you were looking forward to finding your inner "Material Girl". Turns out I had nothing to worry about. My breasts were custom made for my baby, and we did just fine.

Babies have a way of getting what they need. Keep in mind it isn't just the nipple that your baby will be latching on too. Its the whole package, nipple and areola. There will come a time when you will discover just how true this statement is, because it isn't uncommon for an older baby to just suckle directly on the nipple. This is fine once you have toughened up a bit, but be careful about this the first few weeks as this can cause soreness.

I tried It Before And - My nipples were so sore I couldn't continue...

This is a subject I feel strongly about because of my most recent experience. There are many reason why your nipples will get sore. Let's talk about a few.

Your Baby May be Tongue Tied

My little boy is four months old. He is my third baby. I was expecting my nipples to toughen up quickly. However, I became very raw and inflamed and continued to get worse as he got older. This of course is not normal. My nipples were so bad that I even came down with a yeast infection. My nipples looked like bright red traffic cones and it wasn't funny. (it's OK to laugh now)

I knew I was doing everything right. Danny was thriving, gaining weight well, and seemed satisfied. I am an experienced breastfeeding mom and was confident his latch was correct. But my nipples continued to be raw and painful. And the yeast infection would not go away. I was at my wits end. I started doing some research on line, and came across an article about a problem called "tongue tie". So, I went over to my baby, looked in his mouth and BINGO! He was tongue tied. I knew without a doubt this had to be the problem. Let me explain a bit -

Tongue Tie simply means that the frenulum under my babies tongue was to short and attached to the tip of my babies tongue. Therefore, he could not place his tongue far enough under my nipple to correctly suckle. This was the cause for my extreme soreness. The Solution? A simple and quick clip at the pediatrician's office. After the clip my baby latched right on, stopped fussing and my nipples healed completely in five days.

I realize that not all latching problems are due to tongue tie, but I can't help but wonder how many go undiagnosed. Our pediatrician didn't catch it, nor did anyone in the hospital. And a baby with tongue tie generally does not have issues with bottle feeding. Therefore the problem is diagnosed later when the tight, short frenulum interferes with proper speech development.

Moral of the story, check your baby's frenulum. Or specifically ask someone to check it for you in the hospital before you go home. Tongue Tie is hereditary, but my husband and I have yet to discover anyone in our family with the condition. So don't assume anything. CHECK YOUR BABIES MOUTH. Your nipples will thank you.

Mastitis

Mastitis happens when one of your milk duct is clogged and bacteria sets up there and causes an infection. Mastitis does hurt and can make you feel like poo. The important thing is to keep nursing your baby on the infected side as much as you can. This will keep your ducts empty and prevent further infection. Mastitis is a perfect example of why you should educate yourself as much as possible. If caught quickly, mastitis is easily treated and goes away quickly. Symptoms include a red, warm area on your breasts and a general feeling of Blah :(

Now don't think for a minute that by bottle feeding you will avoid Mastitis. This infection starts in a clogged milk duct, and no one has more clogged milk ducts the first few days post partum then a bottle feeding mother.


Yeast Infection

This has to be by far, one of the most painful infections to contract while nursing. Unfortunately it's quite common. I know you might only associate yeast with the type that you get in your Hanes, but yeast tends to have a hay day growing on a new mom's tender nipples for several reason:

* Many mothers have to have a course of antibiotics before, during or after delivery for a variety of medical reasons. While antibiotics destroy bad bacteria, they will also destroy the good. Therefore leaving your body susceptible to a yeast field day.

* Yeast love sugar and a nice moist area to grow; and of course the milk sugars in your breastmilk will provide yeasts with a nice food supply, and the moist insides of a new mother's bra or nursing pad can create the perfect environment for a yeast family reunion bigger then any thrown by the Jackson's.

* Yeast tend to attack compromised parts of the body. New nursing mom's may have cracks in their nipples (even tiny ones you may not see) that provide a breeding ground for yeast.

* Yeast loves to show up like a big bread truck full of your in-laws when the body is weakened from stress or illness. And no one is more stressed then a new mother. Pushing another human being out of your body, and then caring for that being around the clock while entertaining family members, friends and neighbors is enough to put anyone in the ground.

Side Note: LOVE LOVE LOVE Having babies!

The good news is, yeast can be treated. Not as easily as Mastitis I'm afraid, but it will go away. Please do some research on treating yeast of the nipples and get to know the signs and symptoms so you can stop the bread rolls before they rise. Here's a link to get you started - Treating the Muffin Man On Your Super Boobs.

Your Baby's Latch May Be Incorrect Due To Improper Support

I still hold to my belief that babies will latch the way they need to instinctively when positioned properly. I strongly feel that the main reason for a baby suckling incorrectly is improper support of either the baby or your breast.

If your breasts are large like mine are, and not to high and mighty as mine aren't, it works out to be more important to properly support your breast then your baby. Holding your baby securely is a no brainer. Most mothers will do this regardless. However, large, milk filled breast are heavy. When you are holding your breast to latch your baby on you are supporting the weight in your hand right? OK, baby latches on you get comfy, let go of your breasts and, gravity works girls! Your breast fall down, your nipple slips out of your baby's mouth a bit, and what started as a perfect latch on becomes a painful feeding right on your tender nipple. This is what I believe to be one of the top reasons for sore nipples. Not a baby's incorrect suckle. I am guilty of this infraction myself.

As I am sure you will learn if you haven't already, a baby must compress the area around the nipple to properly feed and stimulate your breasts to produce an adequate amount of milk for your baby. By suckling this way, your nipples will not receive the brunt of the baby's powerful suck. So, be sure to properly support those impressive super boobs until your baby is bigger. Until this time, simply use a throw pillow, Boppy, rolled up blanket or simply your hand to support your heavy breasts while baby feeds. (At 4 months of age, my baby is now tall enough to comfortably fit on my lap and nurse without my worrying to much about supporting my breasts.) I also encourage you to do your homework and experiment with a variety of breastfeeding positions. You will find one you love, and you will also reap the benefits of stimulating different parts of your nipple. This really will help you to avoid becoming excessively sore on one area of your nipple. My favorite has always been the side lying position. I love nursing my babies laying down. Regardless of what position you choose, support your Super Boobs!

If you're thinking, " Gee, this sounds complicated", it really isn't. Bottle feeding a baby is always a two hand handed maneuver and sometimes breastfeeding starts out requiring two hands during the feed as well.

Ladies, you didn't sign up for a pleasure cruise. Raising a baby is hard work, requiring self sacrifice, patience, determination, love and humor. The rewards of watching you baby thrive are greater then any I can adequately describe to you here. Hang in there and prepare yourself for the wonderful world of being a Mommy.

Breastfeeding is Gross

Believe it or not, some people do think this. These are probably the same people that think mini skirts are scandalous, rap music is Satan's music, and alcohol is the root of all evil.

For the rest of us, short skirt lovin', P Daddy listenin', glass of wine counts as our 8 ounces of water a day folks, there is just nothing gross about it.

Breasts are beautiful. Just ask my huband. (a bonified boob man) They are an incredible dual device that any woman should be proud of. They never go out of fashion and they always match what you are wearing. They are the ultimate fashion accessorie that can be worn up or down, smashed in or popped out, and revealed in all their glory or dressed up to leave just enough to stir wonder and awe in a majority of the male population.

What a new puppy leaves behing the couch is gross, the smell of your husbands socks is gross, really old men wearing a speedo is gross. Feeding your baby the best food money CANNOT buy with your amazing super boobs is not gross.

And if anyone dare tell you different, stand up reeeeally straight, putting your breasts at their best advantage point and tell them to wake up and smell the breastmilk.

I Will Have To Go Back To Work

There are so many mother's today working full time. I used to be one of them. I worked full time with my first two children, and am a stay at home mom, preparing to go back to work very, very part time with my third. So I have experienced both sides of the debate.

Most Mom's will tell you that leaving their newborns and heading to work was the most heart wrenching thing they have ever done. Many of these same mother's will also tell you that despite their own feelings of guilt, their children are doing just fine.

I am not hear to judge you or criticize. Returning to work is a personal choice based on your personal situation. The true reality is some of you have to work, some of you choose to work, and some of you will choose to stay home. And a few of you will have every intention of returning to your careers and ultimately make the decision to stay home once you have your baby in your arms. Regardless of what choice you make, there are many women in your shoes. And lots of advice to be found on all styles of mothering.

Now, let's talk about going back to work. Hopefully you are planning on taking the standard three month leave. And ideally this three month leave will start after your baby is born. I really encourage you to try to do whatever necessary to take that full three months at home with your baby. It is a precious time that you will remember for the rest of your life. And it also ensures plenty of time to establish a strong breastfeeding relationship.

I am sure you have it all mapped out in your head by now. You will be the modern woman who will have it all; a thriving career you love and a happy family. I am sure you have images floating around in your head of leaving your bundle of joy each morning, complete with a full days supply of your freshly pumped breastmilk. Your little one is clean, in good spirits, and wearing yet another, so adorable, it makes you want weep, outfit. You, of course, are freshly showered, hair done, make up applied, and wearing a clean smart outfit in your pre-pregnancy size. You kiss your darling goodbye and briskly walk away while your happy infant practices waving goodbye . Secure in the fact that your precious baby is being cared for by an attentive and responsible caregiver, you have the piece of mind to face a challenging and productive day at the office.

Doesn't that sound wonderful? I really hate to do this to you, but let me tell you the true story, starting with the first day you return to work.

First of all, throw out the notion that you will be wearing anything in your pre - pregnant size for at least nine months. Remember this - Nine months up, nine months down. Or in my case, Nine months up, and nine months to come to terms with it ain't gonna happen. I'm not saying I haven't managed to lose a considerable amount of weight after each child. But I am not the size I was when I started to personally populate the planet. My hips are wider (not just my hiney, but my hip bones are actually wider) my rib cage is broader, and my feet are bigger. Yes, my feet! Its a fact ladies, your feet get bigger with each pregnancy. If I have any more children, I just may have to order "special shoes" from www. girlyougotbigfeet.com. My point? Do yourself a favor and plan on purchasing new clothes for yourself after the baby and before you return to work. It will save you lots of heartache, and make you feel good to be wearing something new. Unfortunately, there is a chance you will become very good friends with the plus size department, and find yourself very grateful that there is such a thing. That being said let's move on to debunking the next fantasy...

You and your baby will look picture perfect... Ok, you may get a shower, and you might get to put on make up, your hair might even be freshly washed and styled. But pick one, because all three will not happen unless you get up at four in the morning. And then it will still be a big MAYBE. However, I guarantee you that your baby will be clean, dressed sweetly and will have everything he needs packed neatly away in his bag. The supply of freshly pumped breastmilk might be a little tricky. We'll get back to that in a minute. It is tough to get ready with a new baby. The scenario will go something like this...

You're alarm goes off at a reasonable time. You wake up and discover your baby is still sleeping. Perfect! Just one hit on the snooze alarm and you promise yourself you will get up and be all ready by the time your baby wakes up. Three hits on the snooze alarm later, you suddenly wake up, not from your alarm ringing, but by your baby crying. You sit straight up, and realize you are late. You pluck your baby out of bed, or simply roll him toward you (depending on where he ends up throughout the night) and start feeding him. You spend the next 20 minutes berating yourself for not getting up sooner. OK, baby is done, and you change his diaper, place him in his swing and head for the bathroom.

Looking in the mirror you are fully aware that you need to wash your hair , but it will have to do another day, and you decide to go with a "chick ponytail" instead. You put your hair into a temporary ponytail and jump in the shower. Washing quickly, you get out, dry off, brush your teeth, and prepare to apply makeup. As you pick up your first arsenal, Jr. Starts to cry. You rush into save him from the gas bubble threatening to split him in two and realize you need to leave the house in 15 minutes. Better go ahead and get the baby ready.

OK, new diaper, a little powder, adorable new outfit, and he's ready for the cover of Baby Magazine. You then put the baby back in the swing as you chant, "Please don't cry, please don't cry". Now, to the closet, you grab the first thing that looks like it might fit, put it on, and you're ready to go.

You put baby in the carseat, baby bag over your shoulder, baby in carseat in your hand, and you stumble out the door. This is when you realize you forgot your purse. You sit the baby bag down, haul the baby in his, brand new heavier then a Volvo carseat, back into the house. You locate your purse and head back to the car. (you have now broken a sweat) OK, babyseat safely strapped in, throw your purse over the headrest into the passenger seat, place your hiney in the driver's seat, safely back out of the driveway, put the car in DRIVE and... OH HOLY COW! This is about the time you discover you've forgotten the baby's milk in the refrigerator. You also realize that you are going to be late to work.. again. After retrieving your baby's food supply for the day, you are finally on your way to your caregiver.

If you re-read these chain of events you will discover you never put on makeup, and the temporary ponytail you wore in the shower is now your hairstyle for the day.

Let's move on to the perfect caregiver fantasy...

Let me break this to you gently - THERE IS NO SUCH THING. NOT OUT THERE. DOESN'T EXIST. Let's instead talk about a suitable caregiver. A suitable caregiver is someone who is kind, responsible and clean. I'm not talking about June Cleaver, eat off the floor clean. But reasonably sanitary and tidy. No large man eating insects under the bed, no big piles of dog hair in the corners for you little dumpling to eat, or no big mean dogs to eat your little dumpling. No piles of rotting dishes in the sink, or last night's bottles from an all night beer binge sitting by the door.

Are you thinking, " there she goes again, being funny." ? I am dead serious. I have three children. I worked full time with my first two. I have gone through in home providers, nanny's and daycare facilities. And the nightmare I just described above does exist. However, I would rather my child be at a kid friendly home with safe toys scattered about and comfortable worn furniture where he or she can be themselves. A picture perfect home with pretty nick knacks on the table is not what you are looking for. Children are messy and you want someone who knows and understands this and will allow your child freedom and a place to have a good time.

*NOTE: I love dogs. I own dogs. I have no problem taking my children to a home where dogs live. But just as you will investigate the caregiver herself, if there are pets in the home, inquire about them as well.*

Please don't panic. Although I firmly believe the perfect caregiver doesn't exist, it is possible to find a wonderful caregiver. But it will take time and you need to do your homework. Start early and be very, very picky. But not unreasonable. There will be something about everyone you will not like, and issues will arise from time to time. But finding someone you can talk to, that you like, and that loves and understands children will be the first step toward success.

Daycare facilities, in home day cares and nanny's all have their pros and cons. Regardless of which path you choose, you have to be thorough. Here are a few things to check...

References: Ask for references and actually call them. Don't assume that just because the provider had the ability to give you references that they are good. You will be surprised what people will tell you. And you can get a very good feel for the personality of the caregiver by speaking to previous or current clients.

Conversation: Spend time talking with the provider. Casual conversation can give you an insight to the private life of the provider. You will want to know what type of person is caring for you child inside and out. Steer the conversation to other topics of conversation. Such as hobbies, family and past work experience Most people have the ability to put on a very good show for your first meeting. The trick is getting past the "good impression" phase and looking for the dirt. Care giver's are human.

Drop In's: You know how you hate to just drop in on folks without calling, just in case they're in their underwear, holding a hairbrush and singing the theme song from Grease? Well, dropping in is the best way to confirm that what you saw happening at your initial visit is the way things really are. Don't be shy or worry about being inappropriate where the safety of your child is concerned.

Background checks: It is also a good idea to ask if the provider has had a recent criminal background check and ask to see it. No matter how perky, nice, or sweet, you are basically speaking to a perfect stranger about caring for your child unsupervised. Need I say more?

DADS...

Some families are very fortunate to have the ability to coordinate schedules so Dad can be home with baby while mom goes to work. This is the best of all worlds for many reasons...

1. Dad loves baby as much as Mommy does

2. Dad needs time to bond with baby 

3. Dad will enjoy his time alone with baby (he may not realize this for several years but don't worry, he is enjoying it)

4. Dad does not need a background check or references

5. Dad is FREE, which means everything Mommy gets paid goes to family expenses and not babysitters.

There is only one negative to Dad being Babysitter...

DADDY IS NOT A MOMMY, so be patient with him. He will learn. His ways won't be just like yours, but baby will learn to like and accept Daddy's way too.

Let's touch on that freshly pumped supply of breastmilk we talked about earlier. You must start pumping around 4 weeks before you start back to work. There are several reason for this and I will explain a few.

1. It takes time to learn how to pump efficiently. Your very smart, super boobs know the difference between your baby's suckle and the pull of a beast pump. Your body will need some time to get used to the difference.


2. It is not easy to pump lots and lots of milk while you are with your baby . As I told you, your body adjusts to the demands of your baby. And if you are like me, you may find it difficult to have a productive pumping session unless you are separated from your baby and miss a feeding or two. However you may be just like my best friend, and still be able to pump enough milk for twelve babies without leaving your baby for a minute.


3. It's important to become familiar with your pump. You will want to pump every three hours while away and you may have only twenty or thirty minutes for each session. You need to be relaxed to achieve a good let down and becoming an expert in using your breast pump will help you do this quickly


4. Pumping a little each day will add up to several complete feedings and ensure your baby has enough of your milk to get him through the day. You can expect some waste the first few days at the sitter. Your breast don't have a digital read out letting you know how much your baby is eating, therefore you and your caregiver will be guessing a bit until she learns your baby's eating habits.

Now, it is time for the good news.Eventually you will learn to get to work on time with make up applied and hair done. You will find a suitable caregiver, and you will become an expert pumper.

Leaving your baby is hard. I have to be honest with you about that. But things get easier every day. And you will appreciate your breastfeeding relationship more then ever before. After a long and busy day at work, you and your baby will find peace and comfort when you begin to nurse him after being away so long. And you will be relieved to know how happy your baby is to have you back. No one can replace you. And by pumping at work, you can feel good about doing something good for your baby even when you can't be together.

Please be strong and firm about your need to pump while in the work place. Do your homework about the benefits to employers that come with supporting your breastfeeding relationship. Print out articles and give them to your supervisor if necessary. The benefits of breastfeeding are indisputable. Here is a link to get you started by Dr. Sears.

The moral of this story? Being a working mother is challenging. But choosing not to breastfeed will do nothing to ease the tough stuff. Only time and practice will make your life return to some kind of normal again. Choosing to breastfeed will give you a deep sense of satisfaction and help you to feel close to your baby even though you can't be with him all the time.

Bottle Fed Babies Sleep Longer

I consider this a perfect topic of conversation following my post regarding sleep deprivation. And I regret to tell you that yes, there are bottle fed babies that sleep longer then breastfed babies. The reason for this? Breastmilk is digested by your baby faster then formula. Just like when you eat raw vegetables and you turn into a human Shell Station? Well, that's because it is more difficult for your body to process certain foods then others.

Along with the possibility of sleeping a bit longer, bottle fed babies also have a higher probability of more gas, spitting up, allergies, and constipation. However breastfed babies are rarely gassy, don't spit up very much because they ingest less air from your breast then they do from a bottle; and breastfed babies are rarely constipated. Allergies to breastmilk are almost unheard of. After all , your milk is taylor made for you baby. If a breastfed baby begins having gassy symptoms, it is most likely that Mom has eaten something that does not agree with the baby. Eliminating this food from your diet remedies the problem almost immediately.

Simply put... Breastmilk is perfectly suited for your baby, therefore is digested quickly and efficiently by your babies tiny body.

Because some bottle fed babies tend to sleep a bit longer then their breastfed peers, they also may sleep through the night sooner. I know this sounds heavenly, and a sure fire reason to bottle feed your baby. But keep in mind all the other issues that can arise that I just told you about. Not to mention the inconvenience of preparing a bottle in the middle of the night compared to simply exposing your breast. RE: WHIP IT OUT!

I have a little story for you...

When my first son was about 4 weeks old or so, my mother told me I should give him a bottle of formula at night before putting him to bed. The theory was that this would help him sleep longer.

So, being a first time Mom, and open to suggestions, I tried it. I dutifully gave my baby a bottle of formula right before bed time. Now, the big question... Did it work?

NO. Not only did it not work, but he actually slept less. It seemed the formula upset his tummy a bit.

Now I'm not saying that supplementing with formula is a sin. As a matter of fact, it can be a very workable solution for some mothers. And dare I say this? I have used formula for my babies from time to time when I had to be away. I'm one of those lousy pumpers and it was very difficult for me to pump enough breastmilk while away to sustain my babies for a full day.

The reality is all babies eventually sleep through the night. And although there is a possibility (not a guarantee) that your baby may sleep through the night sooner if you bottle feed, is that really a good enough reason not breastfeed him? Sleep habits have more to do with the personality of your baby then what you feed him. And the benefits of breastmilk far out way the luxury of a little more shut eye for mom and dad.

By the way, my exclusively breastfed three month old baby now goes to bed by ten o'clock every night and sleeps until four 0'clock in the morning. He then latches on, eats until he is full and snuggles back in with me to sleep until seven. Not bad huh?

Sleep Deprivation

It makes sense that if you are the only parent that can feed your baby then you are the parent who will be the most tired. And if your husband can feed the baby, then this will allow him to share in the fun and you will get some much deserved rest.

Well, that's only half right. Waking up for those night time feedings will make you tired. There is no doubt about that. But having your husband feed the baby will most likely not afford you more sleep.

New mothers have an incredible bond with their babies. Reason being, you already know your baby. You have been feeling your baby move, hearing his precious heart beat, and staring in awe at his ultra sound photos for months. Holding your baby for the first time is just confirmation of what you already knew; you are completely in love with your child.You will have a need to be with your baby that will be stronger then anything you have ever felt before and you will be amazed to discover that you awaken at the slightest whimper. It is doubtful, unless you live in a house with sound proof walls, that you will be unaware of your baby crying, even if Dad takes him in another room. And it is even more doubtful you will be able to sleep soundly unless your baby is doing the same.

Note: The definition of "sleeping soundly" will change once you have a baby in the house. That lovely coma that you have been slipping into for most of your life for around 8 hours a night will be a thing of the past. "Sleeping soundly" when you are completely responsible for another human life simply means you have both eyes closed, and are in some variation of a horizontal position.

Waking up multiple times per night is tough. Having to get up out of bed and prepare a bottle is torture. Breastfeeding mothers do not have to do this. You can easily pluck your baby out of the bedside crib, or (my favorite) sleep with your baby and wake up long enough to burp, flip and latch. Now... please read the following article in its entirety.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

OK, now that you have had your lesson for the day and are an expert on safe co sleeping practice, lets continue...

I have slept with all my babies and I promise that my two oldest now sleep in their own beds. My five year old daughter still ventures into my bed if she has a scary dream. But most nights, they fall asleep and stay asleep in their beds all night. My youngest is only three months old and is still enjoying the comfort of being tucked in close to mommy.

Keep in mind that each baby is different. My first child would willingly fall asleep in his bassinet, sleep for a bit, nurse for a bit and was perfectly content to stay tucked in with me after finishing his meal, or if I was still awake, he would allow me to place him back in his bassinet. At around two months of age it was clear to me he preferred to sleep in his own bed. He also slept through the night at a very young age. He was a very compliant and mild mannered baby and has grown into a compliant and mild mannered ten year old.

My second child did not like her bassinet.She preferred sleeping with me. She refused to sleep in her bassinet, tolerated her crib after an extended period of being walked around the house, and did not sleep through the night until around 6 months of age. But even after all that, she was content to sleep in her own bed by one year of age. She was a very demanding and high strung infant who has grown into a very demanding and high strung five year old.

Now, my new little guy is alot like his sister. He will only play, not sleep in his bassinet. He loathes his crib and will only sleep soundly for any length of time close to me or daddy or in his Papasan Cradle Swing. (this is an absolutely awesome swing!) I sleep the majority of the night with him tucked in beside me. But I have no doubt that eventually he too will be sleeping through the night in his own bed.

Sleeping with your breastfed infant, allows your baby comfort, warmth,security and an instant food supply. And you will come to cherish this special time with your baby. It also reduces the number of sleepless nights spent with a baby that just won't fall asleep. Most infants will sleep just fine if allowed to lie next to Mommy and nurse on demand. If necessary, your husband can assist you with diaper changes, burping the baby, or just playing with him a bit if he should decide he isn't quite ready to fall asleep after eating.

Oh, by the way. It is not possible to spoil a newborn baby. Newborns operate on sheer instinct. The quicker you repond to and meet their needs, the quicker they will learn to feel safe in this big new world. When your baby cries and you pick him up, you are teaching him to trust you.

Now, if you didn't read the article at the top of the page, please do it now. It is important that you know the safety rules in regards to sleeping with your baby.

Breastfeeding will interfere with my sex life...

There is a rumor out there that I'm sure some of you have heard. The rumor goes likes this...

You have finally reached that moment after giving birth when the doctor has given the green light for you to resume "relations". So, you rush home, take a shower, wash and style your hair, dig out your makeup from under the stack of nursing pads and hemorrhoid creams that now line your bathroom counter. Next, you decide to slip into something nice. Not sexy, because none of that crap fits anymore. But something that doesn't scream "hey everyone, I just had a baby!"
Then you try very hard to get the baby to sleep right before your husband walks through the door. And when he does, there you are, all prettied up with a big smile on your face.

- Ladies, please don't be disappointed if instead of catching your cue and locking you in a passionate kiss, he simply says hey, smacks your butt and heads for the bathroom. Sometimes men need a little help after thinking about dead chickens and taking cold showers for 4-6 weeks. -

Anyhow, once he has figured out why you are smiling, you both undress, hop into bed, start gettin' it on, and suddenly, your super boobs open up like a tropical rainstorm and ruin the mood.

Can I just tell you in all honesty? This has never happened to me. I was terrified it would but it never has. Let me tell you why.

First of all, leaky boobs are really only a problem for the first few weeks. You're breasts figure out how much milk your baby needs, and will adjust accordingly. My baby is now 3 months old and I don't even wear nursing pads in my bra anymore. And I no longer sleep in one either.

Second of all, during the time that your breasts are at risk for leakage, they will be so heavy and tender you wouldn't dream of doing anything, including sex, without wearing your soft nursing bra with nursing pads in place. Therefore, if you are one of the lucky women who actually enjoy sex the first few weeks post partum, and your husband is successful in makin' it rain, you won't have to worry.

Now, don't think for a minute that by bottle feeding you will escape the big tender melon boob period. Because you will NOT. I have never personally experienced what it is like to let my milk dry up cold turkey, but I have seen other women go through it. And it seems to me, if you're willing to go through all that torture to bottle feed your baby, why would you not endure a few weeks of tenderness and leakage to give yourbaby the best milk on the planet? And I firmly believe that the tender boobs you get the first few weeks while nursing, cannot be as horrible as the swollen, lumpy, red and inflammed breasts of the bottle feeding mother. And NO, they do not give shots anymore to dry up your milk. (just incase your mother told you about that)

The true reality is, by the time that your baby settles into a sleep pattern that will actually allow you to have uninterrupted, mind blowing sex, (you know, the fantasy, tropical rainstrom sex we talked about earlier?) your amazing super boobs will be much more cooperative.

I don't want my breasts to sag...

Well, for heaven sakes, who does?

But you know what? Gravity works so get over it.

By the time you get that baby out of your body, your breasts hanging a little closer to your navel will be the least of your worries. Breastfeeding does not make your boobs sag. I really hate to break this to you (because some of you have good genes and some of you will need to start saving for cosmetic surgery) GENETICS MAKES YOUR BOOBS SAG. Just like cellulite, stretch marks, and spider veins. If your mother had them, so will you. And if your mothers breast are going south, so will yours.

Yes, your breasts are heavy and larger then usual while breastfeeding. And a good support bra is a must while your new super boobs are adjusting to milk production. But really, your boobs will do what your boobs want to. If they remain firm, high and round, thank your lucky stars and your mother for her kick butt genes.
If they start peeking under your armpits when you lie on your back and take on more of an orange in a tube sock look, chalk it up to fate and buy a push up bra.

But either way, breastfeeding will not be to blame.

Dad and Grandma Will Feel Left Out

This excuse for not breastfeeding is one of my biggest peeves. How ridiculous to allow the wants of others to take priority over what is best for your baby.

Let's talk about Grandma first. Mother's and mother in laws can be wonderful. But this is your baby. You are in charge. And you need not concern yourself over hurt Grandma feelings when deciding how you will feed your baby. Remember, the same woman who will pout and make snide comments about not being needed, and perhaps give unwanted advice on how you should raise your child, will soon be going home to her child free household. Here she will sleep eight uninterrupted hours each night. This gives her the energy to nag you on a regular basis.

Pleeeeease, DO NOT miss out on your chance to breastfeed your baby because of unwanted advice or inappropriate commentary.

On the flip side. These are women who have survived raising a child and just might, from time to time, have something useful to say.

Now, let's talk about the Daddy person. There are so many things a new Daddy can do to bond with his baby. After you nurse, let Daddy burp the baby, change the baby, and play with the baby. This will free up your hands to use the bathroom, shower, eat, or embark on whatever wild and crazy activity you want to enjoy. (as long as you can complete the task in about 45 minutes) And in the middle of the night, Daddy can bring you the baby when he cries, or change his diaper if he should happen to explode. I can't imagine any well informed Daddy not supporting his wife in providing the perfect food for his off spring. Just be prepared for the comment " Gee Honey, I would help you out but I don't have the equipment."
This is completely justifiable grounds to throw the nearest object across the room in his general direction.

OK, exercise for today... Sit up straight, raise your chin high and proud, pretend that uninformed, well intentioned family members are spouting unwanted advice, place your fingers in your ears. Now loudly chant... LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!

Side Note: Although skeptical at first, my mother is very supportive of my breastfeeding efforts and now brags to all her family and friends that I have successfully breastfed all my babies. If you believe in yourself and your ability to nourish your baby, the masses will follow.

Exhaustion

OK, I have to admit that having a baby is hard work and yes, you will be exhausted. But for me the exhaustion didn't set in right away. I always had a "mommy high" right after my babies were born. While everyone else was falling asleep sitting up, I was wide eyed and thrilled to be alive. After all, I had just given birth to an entire human being that I grew inside my body all by myself! OK, I had a little help. But after experiencing the marathon of childbirth, you won't want to acknowledge the donation either. (laughter from the audience)

You will also find there is a sense of satisfaction that you can give your baby something no one else can. And Im not just talking about breastmilk. Babies receive comfort from your breast as well. It is a natural progression from womb to breast. It is the way things were meant to be. For example, the rooting reflex. All babies have it. And it isn't there to grab a bottle. They turn their to head to the side when you hold them because that is where your breasts are. And your baby knows it!

You probably won't realize how tired you are until 24 - 48 hours later. But the good news is, brand new babies sleep a lot. Of course it is important to nurse frequently, but in between feedings your baby will sleep. Then you can too.

At this point you may be thinking I am a complete idiot. That I haven't figured out that Dad, Grandma, Aunt Sue even the nurse on duty could feed your baby with a bottle and let you get some much deserved shut eye. Right? Wrong. I realize that in the beginning there are swarms of people who want to hold, play with, feed and change the baby. And for some of you, your house will be a tourist attraction for about 2 weeks. But guess what gals? This honeymoon period ends. Oh yes, all those willing little helpers will eventually go home and leave you all alone with your baby. It is then you will really appreciate your choice to breastfeed.

It is so much easier to unsnap your bra then to mix a bottle. And in most cases requires only one hand, leaving the other hand free to hold a book or magazine. (or a pop tart) You can easily lay down to feed your baby and catch a nap together. And in the middle of the night, when Junior decides he is hungry,guess who wont have to get out of her warm bed, make her way into the cold kitchen, turn on the bright light and mix a bottle? YOU! Unless you're married to God, somewhere in the not to distant future it will be you. I don't care how great your partner is.

The reality is you will be tired for the next 18 years whether you breastfeed or bottle feed.

Here's a little homework for you and your husband. Grab a calculator and add up how much it will cost to feed your baby formula for the first six months. Here's a few numbers to get you started -

The average full term infant will consume 4 ounce of formula every 3-4 hours.

The average 12 oz can of infant formula cost between 13.00 and 15.00 dollars and will make about 86 ounces of formula.
* Don't forget to allow for waste. Babies don't always finish their bottles, and should never be forced to do so. Babies know when they are full and will stop eating. *
After you've done the math and you're husband stops hyperventilating, assure him that you will do whats best for your baby and your budget and breastfeed for at least six months.

This is also the time to explain to your husband that the money saved should be spent on the parent with the breasts.

Happy Shopping!

Lack of Freedom

OK, all I have to say about this one is...

Honey, the minute that baby pops out, your freedom badge gets turned in.

But I promise you won't mind. Sometimes I wondered if I needed to be close to my baby more then they needed to be close to me. The love you have for that baby will be so strong it will physically hurt. You think you love your pets, your husband, your parents, your best friends? The love you will experience when you see your baby for the first time is on a completely different level of intensity. It is unconditional and overwhelming. Just wait... you'll see. Freedom will not be a top concern. It most likely won't even be on the list.

Oh, and by the way... you want to talk freedom. Try this - Let's say you want to spend the day running errands, having your hair done, or perhaps a trip to the movies. Instead of comfortably breastfeeding your baby, you could be searching for warm water, stopping by the grocery store because you didn't' bring enough formula or going home to change all together because you dumped the entire bottle in your lap trying to mix the darn thing up.

Breastmilk is always the perfect temperature, clean, pre-mixed, and you never run out.

Modesty - Throw it out the window.

One of the concerns about breastfeeding is the the NBEP. That stands for - naked breast exposed in public. Perhaps I'm being a little insensitive, but come on! If you have a television set, or happen to have been to the beach lately, it is quite apparent that today's society does not put much emphasis on modesty. Take a walk downtown on a hot day or tune in to MTV for 15 minutes. I guarantee you will see more body parts flying, flopping and pulsating then you will ever experience in a room full of breastfeeding mothers.

I believe watching a baby nurse is a beautiful sight. I am amazed at the female human body. Not only can we protect and nourish a child inside our bodies for nine months, but we continue to produce the perfect food for that child after he is born. You are truly all your baby needs. It is recommended that you start introducing solids at six months of age, but the AAP agrees, that breast milk is the best source of nutrition for the first year of life.

Having said that, why should you be embarrassed to give your baby the best infant food in the world? If you would proudly feed your baby with the latest fad in bottles filled with infant formula made from cows milk, surely you can be proud to offer your breast filled with human milk. Your milk is made for your baby. There is nothing better.

Some breastfeeding mothers try to cover themselves with a light blanket while nursing. This works out fine for a younger infant once he is latched on. But listen carefully - it is not easy latching on a newborn when the both of you are still learning while keeping the Pooh Bear blanket draped over your shoulder. Take my word for it, you will create much more of scene trying to be "discreet" then if you just whip it out and latch your baby on. Yes, WHIP IT OUT! My husband used this term while describing my breastfeeding technique for my third child. I am an experienced breastfeeding mother with no inhibitions when it comes to feeding my baby on demand. You too will be able to WHIP IT OUT and latch your baby on in no time after some practice. And I would like to add, if you discover a way to convince an older baby to keep a blanket over his head while eating, please let me know. Alert, happy babies want to look around at their world.

The moral of this story... Be proud of your ability to breastfeed your baby. No one can provide a more perfect food for your baby then you can. Just as no one can love your baby as much as you do. A baby at his mother's breast is a breath taking sight.

OK ladies, ready, set.... WHIP IT OUT!!!

From the beginning...

From the moment they appeared, you've touched, dressed, played and stared in amazement at them. Your breasts - your great twin mysteries.

So many questions arose in your mind as the first buds begin to emerge from your puberty riddled body; How big will they be? Even worse, how small will they stay? Will they be perky, droopy, round or flat? And what female doesn't let the question cross her mind as she dresses for the day... "How do my boobs look in this?"

Then came the names. You know, the official names given to your breasts by just about everyone.

Dad - Rosebuds.
Mom - Those things (as in " you will not go out of this house with "those things" falling out of your shirt)
First boyfriend - Bazoomas
Second Boyfriend - Holy Cow! (not officially a name, but all he can say after seeing them)
Girlfriends - The Girls (nice way of referring to you breasts when they want to say your boobs look good in that)

As you got older and your relationship with your breasts blossomed, did it ever cross your mind that your breasts were made to function in the most important role imaginable ?

Babies are born to breastfeed. Therefore we have them. Not to entice, flaunt, enhance, or surgically alter. But to nourish the most precious beings on the planet - your children.

Inside your bra is the power to preserve the human race. Your breasts have the ability to nourish and grow a baby from birth to a thriving toddler. No heat, water, plastic parts or powder required. Just feed the Mommy person and whamo! The perfect food is served at the perfect temperature, given through the perfect delivery device. AMAZING!

So why would a mother choose to bottle feed? I have my theories. And I will share them with you.