It has been awhile since I have sat down to write. Everything had been pretty much status quo. Baby eating solids and drinking from sippy cup, Mommy "whipping it out" on demand when Baby was tired, fussy, bored or just wanted some nummys.
Then came the morning I woke up after a particularly restless night nursing my little guy every three hours , and realized I was ready to start the weaning process. Not only was I looking forward to a full nights sleep "alone" in my bed, (my husband doesn't count here) but for some reason, I just wanted my breast back. There are several stages of emotion a Mommy goes through after this thought enters your head, and I will try to describe them for you.
1. Incredible, mind boggling, overwhelming GUILT!
2. The "I want my body back" Blues, and GUILT
3. The exciting realization that your baby is growing up and it's time to move on euphoria, and guilt.
4. The grief of realizing your baby is growing up and the fear that you didn't really stop to cherish each moment as often as you should have, and guilt.
5. Resentment each time your little one throws a fit when you don't let him nurse, and guilt.
6. A feeling of rejection if your little one doesn't seem to really miss breastfeeding as much as you thought she would, and guilt.
I think you get the picture. Guilt is the ruling giant during this time, along with a cascade of other conflicting emotions. In fact, the decision to wean is very rarely something that you succeed at the first time you try. I will tell you, from my experience, there are different circumstances that can make the process a breeze or a nightmare. Each baby is different, and some will except weaning as no big deal, and others will positively act as if the world is coming to an end. Either way, guilt will rule the moment for one reason or another.
I have weaned my babies at different ages, and all three were very different in their nursing habits. Interestingly enough, the simplicity of the process ranged from easy to darn near impossible, starting with my first child who made everything a piece of cake, down to my 2 year old - who by the way- is still nursing.
Baby #1 -
From the moment he arrived, he was laid back and slept well, preferring his bassinet when a good long snooze was required. Being my first, it took a full 24 hours before we achieved our first latch on and each nursing session after that was a careful orchestration of timing, positioning, pillows and documentation (at least for the first 4 weeks). Eventually we both got the hang of it, and my love for nursing blossomed into an obsession. We were a team, and it was magical.
I was only 22 when I had my first baby, and although I took a summer position as a nanny so I could be with him for the first few months, I introduced a bottle at 2 weeks of age. He took it just fine, no issues, no nipple confusion, no gas, no nothing. He took bottle and breast without any complaints, used any bottle with any nipple, happily taking my breast as if nothing had ever happened. I returned to work after the summer and at nine months of age, my baby decided that bottles were portable (I was not). He seemed to be equally happy with my breast or bottle so we stopped nursing. It was so easy that I cant even remember my boobs being sore. What I do remember is 1 week after going to bottles and formula, he got his first ear infection. I was overwhelmed with guilt, absolutely sure that the decision to wean and the introduction to formula had caused my baby this inhumane form of suffering - and my pediatrician confirmed my fears.
Now, heres the good news, he got over the infection very quickly, didn't have another until many months later and is now a straight A student at the age of 12. So... the bottom line here is - my pediatrician was a prick and although I felt guilty, my baby and I made the right decision together and everything turned out fine. Moral of the story really is, my breastmilk may have taken an exit, but my love and devotion to my child did not.
Baby #2 - to be continued...
2. The "I want my body back" Blues, and GUILT
3. The exciting realization that your baby is growing up and it's time to move on euphoria, and guilt.
4. The grief of realizing your baby is growing up and the fear that you didn't really stop to cherish each moment as often as you should have, and guilt.
5. Resentment each time your little one throws a fit when you don't let him nurse, and guilt.
6. A feeling of rejection if your little one doesn't seem to really miss breastfeeding as much as you thought she would, and guilt.
I think you get the picture. Guilt is the ruling giant during this time, along with a cascade of other conflicting emotions. In fact, the decision to wean is very rarely something that you succeed at the first time you try. I will tell you, from my experience, there are different circumstances that can make the process a breeze or a nightmare. Each baby is different, and some will except weaning as no big deal, and others will positively act as if the world is coming to an end. Either way, guilt will rule the moment for one reason or another.
I have weaned my babies at different ages, and all three were very different in their nursing habits. Interestingly enough, the simplicity of the process ranged from easy to darn near impossible, starting with my first child who made everything a piece of cake, down to my 2 year old - who by the way- is still nursing.
Baby #1 -
From the moment he arrived, he was laid back and slept well, preferring his bassinet when a good long snooze was required. Being my first, it took a full 24 hours before we achieved our first latch on and each nursing session after that was a careful orchestration of timing, positioning, pillows and documentation (at least for the first 4 weeks). Eventually we both got the hang of it, and my love for nursing blossomed into an obsession. We were a team, and it was magical.
I was only 22 when I had my first baby, and although I took a summer position as a nanny so I could be with him for the first few months, I introduced a bottle at 2 weeks of age. He took it just fine, no issues, no nipple confusion, no gas, no nothing. He took bottle and breast without any complaints, used any bottle with any nipple, happily taking my breast as if nothing had ever happened. I returned to work after the summer and at nine months of age, my baby decided that bottles were portable (I was not). He seemed to be equally happy with my breast or bottle so we stopped nursing. It was so easy that I cant even remember my boobs being sore. What I do remember is 1 week after going to bottles and formula, he got his first ear infection. I was overwhelmed with guilt, absolutely sure that the decision to wean and the introduction to formula had caused my baby this inhumane form of suffering - and my pediatrician confirmed my fears.
Now, heres the good news, he got over the infection very quickly, didn't have another until many months later and is now a straight A student at the age of 12. So... the bottom line here is - my pediatrician was a prick and although I felt guilty, my baby and I made the right decision together and everything turned out fine. Moral of the story really is, my breastmilk may have taken an exit, but my love and devotion to my child did not.
Baby #2 - to be continued...
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